Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome to Spanish Janice. I'm Janice Burt, and today we're diving into conversations that inspire growth, connection, and confidence. You're watching Now Media Television. Welcome to Spanish Janice, my friends, where we explore growth, reinvention, and those meaningful life transitions. I'm your host, Janice Burt, and today I am joined by the very lovely Laureen Quick. She is a navigator, a coach, coach, a speaker for women over 50, and the founder of the transformational Journey. Lorraine supports women navigating, reinvention, identity shifts, and what comes next after decades of responsibility and caregiving.
So, Laureen, why is that over 50 stage such a powerful point of transition from women in your experience?
And thank you for joining me,
[00:01:03] Speaker B: Janice. Thank you so much for having me. It is such a delight and always a pleasure to talk with you.
To answer your question, I think we have to understand that as we get older, a lot of the relationship roles that we fulfilled have lessened.
They shrink down, they shift, they change for us, and they don't demand our full attention 24 7.
So what happens in that lessening, so to speak, is that there is a quiet pause. And in that quiet pause, a question emerges for us.
Really. It's just, it's asking us, who am I?
What do I want to do with the rest of my life?
What difference do I want to make in the world? And it wouldn't happen if those roles didn't shift and change for us because we would just keep as busy as we always had been.
But because everything lessens on the relationship side in many ways. Our children grow up, they go off to college, they leave the home, they get married, they have their own families. We might leave our jobs or we may decide to work part time as we've gotten older, but there's a quietness that is entered into our lives that creates the space for us to ask that question and leads to transformation.
[00:02:23] Speaker A: Oh, so tell me what that looked like in your own life. Do you have a story of your transition from having some of those roles to those roles being reduced and then entering into a new. A new phase for you?
[00:02:43] Speaker B: You know, the biggest thing that happened was my husband actually passed away due to an accident. And so it was quite unexpected.
And the next three to four years were filled with urgency and demands of my time as a single mother trying to get my daughters off from high school onto college and launched into the world.
And so simultaneously, as he disappeared through death, they also disappeared by growing up.
And so I had this blank space of time, and it truly hit me the hardest or the most intense is probably the right word when I turned 60 and I woke up and said, you know, there's a lot of things I've always said someday I'm going to do.
And I promised myself from that day forward, I was never going to talk about someday. I was never going to talk about what I was going to do. It either is on my calendar or it is not something I'm talking about.
And that led me down a journey of self discovery, redefining who I am, becoming the woman that I am today. And it has been an amazing journey, but it really was the emptiness, the space that got created through the loss of my husband and then through my children growing up and me becoming that mother that had their children far away and at college.
Empty nester.
[00:04:14] Speaker A: The empty nester. Oh, yes, I know that. Well, what. What are some of the things that you did that were on your someday list that you were like, okay, we're gonna. We're gonna do this or we're gonna shelf it. What have been some of those things in your own life?
[00:04:34] Speaker B: The first and probably the biggest thing was I made the decision to travel to Peru and to see Machu Picchu.
And so I booked this. This tour trip and actually went with my youngest daughter. And it was a great, great experience for me and for her.
And out of that, I mean, the thing about adventure, the thing about doing new things is it leads to other new things. And so out of that trip, I discovered I love travel again.
I also discovered I love to hike and to walk and to explore, and. And it led me to do more hiking, more walking, more exploration of the world, more travel. And I've been growing ever since.
So that was probably the biggest single event that happened right after I turned 60.
But as all of that has evolved, I have traveled the world now, and I always integrate hiking on my trips.
I have met many, many women who also love to hike, love to travel, and. And so I've developed this huge group of friends that I share those adventures with, but also am supported and loved by. And that has made a huge difference in my life as well.
Out of all of this, women started asking me, what are you doing?
Why do you seem so happy? Or, I want what you've got. Can you help me? And that evolved into working more as this navigator, a coach with women over 50, to help them understand what was going on and to help them get clear about what they want for themselves in their lives.
[00:06:11] Speaker A: And what is one of the first things that you do say a woman, she's 55 and she comes to you, is kind of at a loss.
What do I do? Who am I? Where do I go from here? What's one of the first things, exercises, or challenges that you give to someone like that?
[00:06:35] Speaker B: I really help my clients, when they first start with me, to really appreciate the pause that they're in.
That most of us, when we're confronted with a pause in our lives, we freak out.
There's uncertainty there. We're very uncomfortable. And so either we do one of two things. We run back and recreate whatever it was we had, or we run forward to the first thing we see, and we embrace it with our. All of our hearts.
That's either. Either choice is not, in my opinion, in my experience, the right choice. The right choice, and what I encourage my clients to do is really just sit with this pause.
Allow yourself to slowly start to hear the voice inside you that has been speaking to you all your life, but you've drowned it out with a lot of noise and just ignored it. And there is a voice inside you that will get stronger the more you listen to it. And that voice is your essence, your spirit, your connection to God, or whatever it is you call that. But it is really the voice that knows what's right for you and will guide you, will truly guide you to make the right choices and create the life you want if you would only just stop and. And listen.
[00:07:58] Speaker A: That is so beautiful.
As you said, pause. I was thinking, because one of the things I'm working on currently when I'm speaking in front of an audience, is to embrace the pause in that space, which is very challenging, even in that small example.
It's like feeling the need to fill in the space, to rush through, as opposed to kind of letting it breathe and giving that pause, even as a gift to the audience.
So pauses are so useful. I feel like in many areas of our lives, and you're right, a lot of times we either are not aware that we need that, or we don't feel like we have the tools.
So another question for you along those lines. If somebody feels like, yes, I need to pause more in my life, I need to be in stillness, kind of just be. Be in that space, what do you tell them to do? Are you a proponent of meditation, of prayer, of nature, of what's your go to. To really experience. Experience that. That pause on a deeper level?
[00:09:22] Speaker B: Well, for me, at a deeper level and on a personal level, it really is being out in nature.
I try to integrate a daily walk we have around my house. We have these foothills that I can wander in with my dog. And it gives me that quiet time that I need to reconnect with myself and remind me who am I and what am I trying to accomplish in life?
And is everything that I'm doing aligned with that or am I misaligned somehow? But I would tell any woman who asked that question, don't worry about if it's nature or if it's prayer or if it's meditation. All of those things are wonderful tools. The real important thing is that you practice the pause.
And I'll give you an example of that.
I recently had the delight and pleasure of being doing a road trip with my daughter and her husband to Galveston, Texas.
And I intentionally said to myself, on this trip, I'm going to practice the pause. And so I literally would track every opportunity I had that in the days that we traveled to actually pause. So, for example, we were supposed to leave at 8 o' clock in the morning out of their place in Austin, Texas, to drive out to Galveston.
They were delayed getting up. So it ended up being more like 8:45. So I said, oh my gosh, I have a pause. I have this window of time to do whatever I want right now in this pause. And I ended up writing some poetry and I really enjoyed that pause. In fact, when it was time to go, they were like, it's time to go.
I hadn't put my shoes on yet, so I had to hurry up and, and get ready because now they were waiting on me. So practice the pause. That would be my biggest piece of advice.
[00:11:14] Speaker A: That is so good. And I love how you said you intentionally set out to do that on that trip. I feel like so many times it requires that of us, this intentionality, just to be very purposeful about the things that we're setting out to do.
And we will be right back. We're going to take our first break and stay tuned, everybody. We will be back with Lorraine Quick right after this. We'll be right back with more insight, inspiration and real conversations. This is Spanish Janice on NOW Media Television. And we're back. I'm Janice Burt, and you're watching Spanish Janice. Let's keep growing together.
Welcome back, mis amigos. You are watching Spanish Janice on NOW Media Television. You can watch this show and more live or on Demand on Roku iOS or anytime at www.nowmedia.tv.
now Media TV is your home for inspiring bilingual programming.
Welcome back. We are going to dive into something that is near and dear to my heart, something that I have struggled with for the majority of my life, this little thing called people pleasing.
And Laureen, I know you work with women over 50 and I'm sure for a lot of those women there have been decades of their life where they have been the go to caregiver, the person who's responsible for taking care of other people.
And many times, I mean, that doesn't mean that you're a people pleaser just because you're caregiving, but many times I feel like that can easily seep into the people pleasing realm.
What have you seen with your clients in regards to people pleasing? And then when they get to a place in their 50s going, you know, am I living my life or am I living this life for other people? What have you found in your experience working with women in their 50s about people pleasing?
[00:13:44] Speaker B: I. I'm really glad you brought it up, Janice, because it is probably one of the most common things that we deal with in our 50s, 60s and beyond. And, and the reason for it is because like you said, we've spent decades of our lives serving other people.
And we associate that we are loved because of what we serve or how we serve, how we do, right? And so we look for I do something for someone and I get back that that love.
So we equate love with doing and we link that doing with approval of other people.
And over time, we forget to completely ask ourselves, well, what do I think about this?
What do I feel about this?
And instead we live our lives trying to serve and please and meet the expectations of other people.
And we've completely, in many cases completely lost a sense of it doesn't really matter what other people think. What matters most is what I think about who I am, the choices I make and the things that I do.
So it becomes a muscle that we have to begin to redevelop in our lives.
We have to begin to understand that I am not loved because of what I do or give to another person. I am loved for who I am, and I am loved for who I am means I need to be in alignment with who that person is. I need my actions, my choices, my decisions, my life to fit who I am in order for people to know who I am, in order for people to connect and love who I am.
So we have to retrain ourselves in a lot of ways. And it is extremely difficult because it's embedded in us. For 10, 15, 20, 30 years, this is what we've been doing, serving others and being rewarded with their perceived, rewarded with their affection, their love, their friendship.
And in reality, that's not even true.
People love you for who you are. They don't love you for what you do.
So we just need to learn to let that go.
[00:16:12] Speaker A: And what if someone doesn't even have an idea or a concept of who they are because they've lived for so many years in this past pattern habitually pleasing others? You know, what can I do for validation for you? For you?
I remember with myself, just to give you a little example is when I was deep in my people pleasing ways and, and I would say kind of a shell of a human being.
If I was asked, where do you want to go to dinner?
Even that would be really hard for me to answer. I'd be like, I don't know because where do you want to go? I'll just go where you want to go was always kind of my immediate thing. So if somebody's in that bad of shape like I was, where you don't even know where you want to go to dinner or what you like for lunch. What are some, what's a starting place that people can really start to reconnect with who they truly are?
[00:17:19] Speaker B: Again, I go back to that whole idea that you need to just stay in the pause here. Listen to the silence for just a few moments. Be with yourself, connect with your heart and this little teeny voice will start to speak and say, you know, I really love Chinese today, or I'm really in the mood for Mexican today or I want a steak, you know, whatever that is.
And then gently learn to say, this is what I would like. What do you think?
Because of course life is a negotiation. We don't, we don't always get our way. But at the same time, nor does the other person always get their way.
So you learn first to connect with what do I like? And that's through that quiet calmness, listening to the voice inside yourself that says that this is what I like. And oh, by the way, this is important to me, right? Because there are times I don't care what we eat, it doesn't matter to me. I'm happy to go along. But there are other times when, yeah, I would like to do Chinese today. And I would like to be able to say that and let that land with the friend or friends or family or whoever that I'm with.
So again, it's going back to just being really self aware and it's, this is hard work.
I would say the last. I'm 67, so the last seven years of my life I have done an intense level of self reflection and Self discovery.
And it's a path I will follow for the rest of my life, staying in tune with who am I, who do I want to be, and what's important to me right now in this moment.
[00:19:02] Speaker A: So good. You know, what I go back to is I think about what I used to like to do when I was a little kid or even in my teenage years.
So just as an example, I would always record people I would love doing interviews, like kind of talk shows. Oh, join us here. We're on a commercial break. And funny enough, now I'm have a Spanish Janice TV show because I paused long enough to go, wait a minute. What were those things that caused me such joy when I was a little kid? Because sometimes I feel like we just lose sight of that with life and things that come up and so just going back to that childlike kind of wonder and what things you used to like. So I'm just curious for you, Laureen, what were some of the things that you used to love when. Or do or whatever when you were a kid or a teenager?
[00:20:05] Speaker B: You know, it is funny that you, you say that because I think our childhood and our youth do. Does reveal for us what our true interests are.
I always liked learning and growing. I love school. I loved teaching in my church. We would have the children's church. Yeah, School Kitty cat. Kitty catechism, I guess is what the word I'm looking for. And I would teach that. I was in Girl Scouts, and I would lead our Girl Scout groups to do things together that evolved us, that helped us to grow and to change. And so over time, I got, I got lost with that. I mean, I was raising a family, I was having a career, I was doing all these other things that I thought I was supposed to be doing. And, and, and I was supposed to do all of that. It was part of my process, part of, of who I'm becoming. But, you know, I, what I realized over this process, this time is that I really, ultimately, my purpose in life is to create space where people can be and where people can become.
And I've done that all my life. No matter where I was, no matter what job I had, what role I was fulfilling, I was always working towards letting people be who they are and letting. And helping supporting people become who they are. And that includes myself.
So.
And I also love to travel when I was younger, really love to travel. And now I travel quite a lot now.
[00:21:42] Speaker A: If, if a woman comes to you and they want to, they want to be coached by you, walk us through what that looks like.
So I come to you and I say, I'm in this weird transition. I kind of don't know who I am anymore. My kids are out of the house. I'm working less hours.
How do you set the stage for helping them through navigating that transition?
[00:22:16] Speaker B: Janice? We have initially, actually throughout the whole process, we have conversations. So we are always talking together.
And what I also give my clients are tools that they can use to become more self reflective, to get clear about who they are, who they're becoming.
So I can give them, for example, a check in. There's a daily check in process where they check in with themselves by both intellectually, emotionally, and in terms of their body and in terms of their spirit. And they use that to bring themselves into the present moment and then to think about what's important today, what's important in order for me to be who I am and become who I'm becoming.
So they get practical tools along with these conversations and they eventually we talk a lot about what brings you joy in life.
And as they get clearer and clearer and as I also encourage them to only do the things that bring them joy, they start to. Joy is an amazing thing because joy will actually create a vision for you.
If you follow joy long enough, a vision of yourself and of your life will emerge for you. And then once you know what that is, you can create a plan.
[00:23:44] Speaker A: Follow the joy.
Boy, I love that.
Stay tuned, everybody. As soon as we come back, Laureen is going to let us know how you can connect to her and continue in your own journey of following your joy. We'll be right back. We'll be right back with more insight, inspiration and real conversations.
This is Spanish Janice on NOW Media Television. And we're back. I'm Janice Burt and you're watching Spanish Janice. Let's keep growing together.
Welcome back, everybody. These life transitions can often bring about identity questions. Who am I once this old role is no longer in my life and I'm stepping into something new? What does that mean?
Laureen, when you are helping women in their 50s transition, what things do you tell them? Because I feel like it's applicable for all types of life transitions, just as we go from one stage of life to another.
But how, how do these life transitions shape our identity?
[00:25:09] Speaker B: So when our old roles drop away over time, as we explore and as we play, new roles start to emerge and even a new view of who we are becomes apparent to us.
Oh, I, I forgot that I loved adventure. I'm an adventurous.
I go out and have adventures.
Oh, I forgot that I love to paint.
And now I'm a painter. Now I'm an artist. And so what reconfigures for you over time is this new conglomeration of roles that you are playing. And out of that becomes a definition of self. Now, I will tell you at the same time, your definition of self defense. Deep down, the root of who you are never really changes. What changes is your understanding of that role over time. I believe every transition you go through, you know, I went through the death of my husband, and so I saw myself as a widow. I saw myself as a single mother.
Those were roles that I played. But what happened during that transition time for me was that I got clearer and clearer about who I am.
I. I remembered, so to speak. Oh, I forgot I'm Laureen. I'm strong.
I can handle this kind of challenge.
Oh, I forgot I'm Laureen. I can meet my daughter's needs as their single mother just as well as I could when I was sharing that role with my husband. And we co parented our kids. So these transitions allow our essence to emerge more clearly and stronger. The challenge for us is to stay open to that and not let fear scare us so that we run off and do something to stop fear, to stop, again the uncertainty of all of this. But instead, we stay in the moment, we relax, we allow ourselves to emerge and step up to the challenges and the roles that we now face in our lives, we become stronger.
[00:27:28] Speaker A: And I would imagine part of that becoming stronger because you can mentally think about becoming stronger. But to actually become stronger, there seems like there's this action that needs to take place. A moving it from just a mindset of I am strong to this proof of I am strong. Look at what I accomplished or look at what I did. I would imagine for you, even that first trip that you took, with all the uncertainty of going to Machu Picchu and what's that going to be like and altitude and this and that?
There was probably some fear involved in that initially.
And then as you went and you took the trip. Well, actually, let me not assume. Let me ask you, when you went and you took the trip and you're at Machu Picchu, what were some of the realizations that you had or the lessons that you learned about fear and just doing the thing? Anyway,
[00:28:39] Speaker B: what I learned is, and I've continued to learn this over the last six years, is the more you do it, the easier it gets.
So the more mountains you climb, the easier the climbing gets, the more Planes you take, the easier it gets to navigate your way through an airport and get on and off an aircraft, Right?
You're building confidence with every experience, experience that you have. And linked to that is that you celebrate those experiences and those successes that you're proud of. Oh, my gosh, look what I accomplished. I did this, and I can do it again. Not only can I do it again, I can do it better or bigger or more.
And so everything that you do that follows just continues to build that confidence as you evolve into this person, person that you're becoming.
And it is funny because it's like these things, they go in cycles, right? You'll go on, and suddenly you'll feel extremely confident and really, well, well aware. This is who I am. This is what I want. This is what I'm achieving, I'm working towards. And then, boom, a new transition comes into play. Something else happens in life, and we peel back some more layers of the onion and we get to know ourselves even better, and we do the whole process all over again.
I do really believe life is just a continual process of transformation and change. We evolve, we grow. That's what we're put on this planet to do.
[00:30:08] Speaker A: You're speaking my language. I truly believe that same thing, that we are here to grow and evolve into the best versions of ourselves.
Do you have any stories from your clients of that type of evolution, that transformation where you saw somebody come in just kind of at rock bottom, maybe having not a lot of hope?
And then throughout the steps and as you walked her through the journey, she grew and evolved into a woman who was confident and just feeling hopeful about life.
[00:30:50] Speaker B: I have one that just popped into my mind as you were asking that question, Janice. I had a client I was working with who was going through major pain associated with her children growing up and moving away.
She had defined herself as a mother for so many years. And then for her, both her children left almost like one right after the other and went out into the world to live their lives.
And she was.
To describe her, I would say she felt desperate and she felt clingy, that whenever she was around them, she wanted to literally hold on to them physically so that they wouldn't leave her again.
And all of her life centered around why haven't they called me, why didn't they invite me to dinner, et cetera, et cetera.
And over time, what we learned to do is for her to sit with herself and to not need their connection constantly in her life, to just be okay with, you know, even if they're in her house, they're in another room. She's not going to run into the other room to try to be with them. She's going to stay in the kitchen, deep breaths and learn to appreciate what she's experiencing right now as she prepares the meal and trust that her children love her and that they will want to be with her in a few minutes with, when they sit down to dinner.
It may sound a little strange, but I mean literally she just, she missed them. She loved them so much. She wanted to be with them and it, it was really hurting her that they were not, they were growing up, they were becoming the adults that she'd raised them to be.
And over time she really. This took a while. Over time she learned to really appreciate that not only did they have their own lives, she has her life too.
And that life can involve other friends and other activities and that life can involve a man in her life that she can have a relationship with, that her children became in an appropriate place in her life for her after a while of working on this. Not the source of all of her pain and unhappiness because they had grown up and gone away.
[00:33:05] Speaker A: That is so interesting. It sounds a little bit like the emotional regulation and I can actually relate sadly enough to that feeling of desperation and clinginess in a relationship as far as a co dependent relationship and feeling like the all of you, you is so consumed with the other person that you start to feel like your world revolves around that person.
So I would say it's very important, especially in these codependent relationships to learn emotion, how to emotionally self regulate and I don't know if what things were taught to her, but what did you see in her emotional self regulation from the beginning of when she started working with you and the end when she actually was like, oh, I could have other friends and another experience of life outside of my kids doing that for me internally.
[00:34:22] Speaker B: She's calmer, right? She, she can breathe and she can love herself because she was looking for affirmation, confirmation of who she was from her children, which they couldn't give her. No, no one can, right? No one can give you that kind of affirmation, that kind of intense love that we, that we seek because the only one that can give that to us really truly is ourselves. And so we have to start loving ourselves.
We are, we do not do that well as a culture in the US at least my observation is we, we do not love ourselves very well. We criticize ourselves, we, we're mean to ourselves. We would never say to other people what we say to ourself. And then we seek from those that are closest to us affirmation that I'm not that bad, that you, you see me that bad and you know I'm not that bad, you know, you still love me. And we become attached to them in ways that aren't healthy.
So I've kind of gone off the track from the answer I wanted to share. But I really saw her as she was happier, she's a lot calmer person as she was a lot happier and pleased when she was with her children because it was obvious they loved her, she loved them, but they weren't each other's end of the world, so to speak. Right.
[00:35:44] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:35:44] Speaker B: It had a balance that was healthy.
Yes.
[00:35:49] Speaker A: And we have to pause for another break, but when we do come back, I want to talk more about self love because I do think that is kind of at the crux of, of everything in our lives, our relationships, just how we show up in the world. So I'd love to dive a little bit deeper into that.
Everybody stay tuned. We will be right back and talk about self love. It's good. We'll be right back with more insight, inspiration and real conversations. This is Spanish Janice on NOW Media Television. And we're back. I'm Janice Burt and you're watching Spanish Janice. Let's keep growing together.
Hey. And we're back. You are watching Spanish Janice on NOW Media Television. Watch this show and more live or on Demand on Roku iOS or anytime at www.nowmedia.tv. now Media Television is your home for inspiring bilingual programming.
Welcome, welcome, friends. We are with Laureen Quick and I have just so enjoyed this time with you, Laureen. I want to talk a little bit more about self love because it is such a talked about theme, but yet I think it's a little elusive and hard for people sometimes to really connect with what that means. We know we're not saying arrogance, you know, to have everything be about you.
What is self love to you? What does that mean?
[00:37:41] Speaker B: So on a personal level and with the work that I do with my client, I think that self love to me is an appreciation for who you are.
It is a deep appreciation that you are this miracle.
You are this incredible person who's unique and creative and fun and that you have so much to offer the world.
Just being you, not trying to be anybody else, not trying to pretend to meet the expectations of other people, that just who you are is perfect in every single way and worthy of love. And that you are in fact loved
[00:38:41] Speaker A: when people. Have you mentioned it in the other segment, this recurring negative self talk, Many times I feel like it's things we've heard when we're younger that we then kind of can adopt as our own voice internally.
What are some tactics or tools that you use to switch that self talk, the negative self talk, into empowering and uplifting?
Because like you said, sometimes we talk to ourselves worse than we would like our own worst enemy. So how do we switch that internal dialogue?
[00:39:31] Speaker B: I have a couple of answers to this question, and it's a worthy question of a complete answer. So first, what I would say is look for the evidence.
All right, so if you say to yourself, oh, you are so stupid. Okay, Laureen, where's the evidence? Where's the evidence that you're so stupid? Oh, well, okay, well, really, I made a pretty good decision there and, oh, I managed to get an mba and I guess after all, I'm really not that stupid.
So look for the evidence about the way that you talk to yourself. Challenge it. Question that again, it begins with the pause, right? We pause for a moment and say, oh, wait, stop.
Where is the evidence that I'm really that stupid?
Generally, there is no evidence. We are just listening to some old records that came from our past. The second answer, and maybe the perhaps, maybe the most powerful one, is start to think about the past, the present, and the future as a vertical line.
So you have this vertical line and the past is at the bottom, the present is in the middle, and the future is at the top. And that past can never be repeated. It's done, it's gone, it's over, it's behind us. The only part of the past that can come into the present is what I choose to think about, what I choose to talk about.
And so if I don't talk about it, if I don't think about it, the past, whatever negative messages I had from the past, that it just can't come into my, into my present moment anymore.
And so this sounds just really bizarre, but it has been very helpful to me and it helps my clients when I share this.
Whenever you start listening to old stories, whenever you start telling yourself messages from the past, remind yourself that that's in the past, it doesn't exist. And right now, if I want to shape my present moment, I have to change what I talk about and just start talking about something else.
What's really fascinating about this is the present moment will predict the future.
And so if you stop talking about the past, stop thinking about the past and start only being in the present moment, your future will be very different.
[00:41:56] Speaker A: I'm glad you brought that up because I was just going to ask you about affirmations, and I feel like, I don't know if you use them with your clients or with yourself, but in talking about affirmations, as in the present moment, I am confident, I am secure, I am loved saying those things in the present moment. So what you're saying is that is indicative of what our future will then be. Whereas if we're sitting there going, I am a loser, I am a horrible person, I am not worthy, that is also going to be indicative of what our future will become based on how we're talking to ourselves.
[00:42:45] Speaker B: Absolutely. What we say to ourselves today in the present moment will influence our future without a doubt in my mind.
Yep. So we got to change what we say.
Love that. And it's not just what we.
What we believe.
[00:43:05] Speaker A: Ooh, okay. I really like that because that on a deeper level, our beliefs are what starts the whole thing off, is it's how we believe about ourselves.
So if a woman comes to you in her 60s, let's say, and all her life she has had a belief that she is unworthy, that she's not. Let's say she's not good enough.
If there's not a man in her life, what things would you do to help her start to rewrite that story and change that deep rooted belief?
[00:43:52] Speaker B: I would have her start a notebook. And in the notebook, I would tell her to start actually putting down the evidence, the evidence of her life.
So she truly believes that she's not worthy because she doesn't have a man. I want her to put in her notebook examples, stories that she can share with me that prove that and inevitably that she can't. Because there is no proof.
There is no evidence that she's that way. Right. It's just some old story that she's been telling herself. But there is no hard and fast evidence, evidence that that is true. Okay, but now let's change the narrative here. What about if we say, I am lovable now? Show me proof. Spend the next week looking for proof that you are lovable. And, and here's what we discover when we look for things. We will find what we're looking for. Right.
And those kinds of evidences, those, those kinds of stories that she brings to me will be undeniable. They will be real. They will be concrete things she can look at in her life and say, I am lovable.
Yeah. It's A fascinating language and the conversations we have with ourselves are primary to our growth and development as human beings.
[00:45:18] Speaker A: Absolutely.
What is next on your agenda for life? Are there any big reinventions or transitions or travels or things on the horizon for you in the future? Let's say in the next five years or so?
[00:45:41] Speaker B: I am hoping to do quite a lot more travel in the next five years, especially international travel. I do have plans to go to Nepal this year with a group of women friends. I'm very, very excited about that.
Looking also to spend some time in Scotland and England this coming year as well.
So I look at my life and say I'm 67 years old. Okay, I might have 10 great years left of lots of physical activity. Might have 15, might have 20. I better be filling up those those years with all of the experience experiences that I want to in my 90s and as I reach 100 look back on and say wow, I'm really glad I did that.
So I am working on making all of those dreams happen in this coming year and into the next several years as well.
My business also is continuing to grow. I am, I love the work that I do and I truly believe that there should be no woman sitting at home watching television every night wishing there was more, wishing there was more to her life and not understanding why it it isn't. And if I can help that woman get off the couch, turn the television set off and go out and start living her life, I am there. I want to support her in any way that I can. So I will continue to work as well in the the wonderful, amazing work that I get to do as a navigator for women over 50.
[00:47:09] Speaker A: What encouragement last question would you give to a woman who is scared to travel?
Because I see that it has done so much for you and I agree. In my life it's one of my favorite top things to do is travel and experience other cultures. If someone is just scared, just that fear is so overwhelming. As far as as traveling somewhere else, what advice do you have for her?
[00:47:44] Speaker B: So many things I could say travel with friends, right?
Then you'll navigate the the challenges together.
Takes baby steps. If you are worried about going to Ireland or to Saudi Arabia, but it's a place you've always wanted to go, don't make that your first trip.
Go to the beach in your state, go somewhere wonderful and fun, visit a national park, do a small baby step trip.
And what I will tell you is if you're a self reflective person, if you look back on the experiences you have and you learn from them. Every time you travel, you will get stronger and stronger and stronger and more confident in what you do.
[00:48:27] Speaker A: Laureen, you have been just such a pleasure, such a wealth of wisdom and knowledge. And I just want to thank you for coming on here today.
And everybody who is listening, just know that there are these different stages in our life and each stage is glorious and beautiful in its own right.
And Laureen is there to help you along if you, you want some assistance in that, in your 50s, 60s, 70s, and beyond.
And I just thank you again, Lorene, for coming on and inspiring us all.
[00:49:07] Speaker B: Janice, it has been my delight and pleasure. Thank you so much for having me as your guest.
[00:49:13] Speaker A: Everybody go out there, travel somewhere. We'll see you next time.
